A priest recently told me that despair is a way the Devil tries to destroy us. Despair is like sin as described in Genesis 4:7 "a demon lurking at the door," alive and waiting to devour us. I currently suffer the temptation to despair. My wife is Kenya. I will not hold her until I return from Afghanistan (which I have still yet to leave for). I am also racked by a near feverish state as my body painfully reacts to various vaccines injected into me. Worst of all, the apartment I come home to everynight is cold, dark, and empty.
However, all I need to do is to reflect on the current situation and the despair melts away. Catholicgauzette is working with a development group in Kenya. The NGO she is working for has a positive track record and she can only amplify their good works. I will one day be reunited with her. My physical and mental pain no where matches those of the saints, soldiers, and innocents caught up in war. My time alone is a time for reflection, a time to give thanks for everything that I have.
Once I publish this post I will go back to preparing for Afghanistan. This time not in despair but with thoughts of thanks and the promise of the future.
2 comments:
Our family prayers are with you. I often feel bored about what I do and wished for more. In those moments, I try to think of those that are suffering and/or have harder crosses to carry.
Blessings and safety on your trip and on that of your wife.
Enrico and family
http://smeeko.blogspot.com
You will be together again soon and get to spend many years in happiness with each other. I totally understand, I've had to live 1/3 of my marriage 3 hrs away from my husband but at least have the option of talking to him on the phone and seeing him vocationally. Completely cut off, I would probably go crazy. Hugs to both of you
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