Geography Humor Meme: Why Remembering the Exact Flow of Rivers Matters

Does "close enough" really mean the displacement, starvation, and drowning of hundreds of thousands?

Geography: Without Knowledge of It, Your Vacation will be Horrible

Thomas Cook Vacations fields complaints from its customers.  Some of these complaints only exist because of the geo-illteracy of tourists.

“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

“On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

“The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

“There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

(Hat tip: Seth Dixon)

"Great" Britain Strikes Back against Russian Insult

During an emotional high over the Syria crisis, a Russian official described the Great Britain/United Kingdom as a small island that no one pays attention to.  The British have apparently taken that insult personally.  The government-funded British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) has a full article about just how impressive Great Britain is.

Claims to fame are
1) Ninth biggest island in the world!
2) One of the most populous islands in the world!
3) One of the few islands of significant size that officially calls itself 'great'!
4) One of a series of islands which governed massive empires!

My main family line comes from Great Britain (from what I can tell well established and probably pre-Norman Dane) so please do not believe I am mocking British with this post.  I am amused by the BBC's need to justify Britannia. 

Virtual Geography Convention 2013: Earth in Beta

Welcome to the Virtual Geography Convention 2013!  If you have a presentation or blog post you wished published please contact me at catholicgauze [at] gmail [dot] com!  

Google has a shirt for the 2013 Association of American Geographers convention.  The shirt reminds people that the Earth is still active and never "finished".  (Hat tip: @geospatialnews)

Cyprus Bailout Map Humor: A Country Owned

The proposed European Union bailout of Cyprus is weighing heavily on people around the world.  The financial and human costs of such a deal are leading to bank runs, fears of lose of life savings, and worries about the end of national sovereignty.

Some, though, have managed to find humor in the dark.

The first map shows the feeling of occupation many in Cyprus feel.  The northern half is represented by the Turkish flag (as most in the world do not recognize the the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus) and the military bases, which are under sovereign British control and have never been part of the Republic of Cyprus,  are shown by the flag of the United Kingdom.  Most of the Republic of Cyprus is shown as under occupation via the German flag.  Only a small sign in the center, occupied land, is independent for ethnic Greek Cypriots.  However, a Greek flag and not a Republic of Cyprus flag is used.

From Twitter

The second map shows the cost of the possible, but now dead, proposal of a Russian bailout for oil rights and a political realignment of Cyprus away from Europe and towards Moscow.  The districts of Cyprus are renamed to reflect Russian political leaders, economic leaders, companies, and regions.

Sound of Music Geography Error

The last scene of the movie Sound of Music has the Von Trapp family crossing the Alps on foot into Switzerland.  The family is free from the Nazis after escaping a patrol near Salzburg and are surrounded by God's beautiful nature.



However, as a post from the sometimes not so safe for work humor website Cracked.com points out, the geography does not work out.

The Austrian state of Salzburg does share a border with Italy but not Switzerland.  In reality the family fled through Italy rather than Switzerland. While the foot crossing the Swiss Alps provided a beautiful ending to the movie, real-world complex political geography  due to the collapse of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire allowed for the family's departure.  According to the National Archives:

The von Trapps traveled to Italy, not Switzerland. Georg was born in Zadar (now in Croatia), which at that time was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Zadar became part of Italy in 1920, and Georg was thus an Italian citizen, and his wife and children as well. The family had a contract with an American booking agent when they left Austria. They contacted the agent from Italy and requested fare to America.

Traveling with their musical conductor, Rev. Franz Wasner, and secretary, Martha Zochbauer, they went by train to Italy in June, later to London, and by September were on a ship to New York to begin a concert tour in Pennsylvania

The movie not only changed the history and names of family members but the geography as well.

North American-Centric Map Humor

Hat tip: Quickmeme.com via Torgo Jr.

Two Hurricane Sandy Maps: The Beautiful Horror and the Humor

Two Hurricane Sandy maps have especially appealed to me (note:  currently I am riding out the storm battling a head cold).

The first one, which I can trace back to Conde Nast but probably is from NASA, shows the size of this 1,000 mile (1,620 kilometer) wide storm.  This storm and the geographic forces behind it are awe inspiring and terrible in the Biblical senses.

The second map is a humorous one representing the strange desire for Americans stuck indoors to drink alcohol, especially wine.  I live next to a high class liquor store and I can ensure you that business is indeed good.  The map shows how simple cartography can be a quick and easy advertisement for businesses.

Memorial Day Weekend Geography Humor: Denial, the River

This Memorial Day we remember all those who fought and died for our freedoms.  Thank you.  We will continue to fight for them so these deaths will not be in vain.

And now here's some geography humor to get you through my blogging holiday:

"You know, denial is more than a river in British colonized Anglo-Egyptian Sudan"  -Froderick in A Vampyre Story, set in the 1880s.

Canadian Stereotype Map

 Long time reader and sometime guest blogger Canada has sent me a map of stereotypes of Canada.  The map matches many of my own thoughts and questions about various provinces of Canada including:

• Why I hear about protests in Quebec more than elsewhere.  I assume it has something to do with the Quiet Revolution's breakdown of traditional controls.
• Why I associate Irish-Canadian music with Newfoundland and nowhere else.
• My belief that British Columbia is just a cultural extension of the San Francisco-Portland-Seattle urban complex.

However, it was quite surprising to me that there was no reference to Eskimos or American Indians aka First Peoples for Nunavut.  83.6% of the total population of the territory self-identifies as Inuit.  You think this unique geopolitical, integrated homeland would get some mention.

Saturday Humor: Oregon Trail Movie Trailer

Long time readers will remember that I love studying the Oregon Trail.  Part of my love for the trail is based off my time playing the Oregon Trail computer game during my youth.  Half Day Today has taken the game of my youth and made a fake movie trailer based off the game.  Enjoy!

Cartoon Map of Middle Eastern Countries' Feelings for Each Other

The Economist has a hilarious but accurate map showing the feelings various Middle Eastern countries, and the United States, have for each other.  The map reminds me of The Onion's map of World War I's complex alliances.

The Ugly American in The Onion

Note:  I will not embed the video on the blog because it has sophomore-level humor of crude jokes.  Viewer be warned.

 The Onion, the joke newspaper, has an online video discussing the Ugly American.  In "Has Obama Failed To Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?" pundits debate why American tourists are still viewed negatively around the world.

Behind the joke is the true phenomenon of the Ugly American.  Besides brief experimentation by Nazi Germany, the United States was the first country where the "less cultured and mannered" middle and working classes could afford to travel aboard.  It was therefore Americans who broke the "learned, polite traveler" stereotype.

Nowadays the Ugly Tourist is international.  In Guanajuato, Mexico, for instance, I met an army of "Ugly Germans."  Meanwhile, "Ugly Saudis" are well known in Bahrain and Monaco.

Joke Map: Fall Burning Car Colors of France

During Fall some Americans enjoy the changing colors of leaves.  We even featured several maps of fall leaf colors.  In France, fall, along with every other season, seems to be the season of protests.  Right now protests over pension reform and the banning of the burqa are in the news.  A BBC report I saw stated that the number of cars being burned, a stable of French protests in the ghetto neighborhoods, are on the rise.

A reader e-mailed me a map which depicts the changing colors of burning cars in France.  Other hazards are also shown including arsons.  I cannot trace the origin of the map so if anyone can tell me I will put up the link.

Songs Lyrics as Google Maps Directions

I was going to do a Hotel Camp Fallujah map but got stuck between happy and bummer memories

If you loved Google Maps demotivational posters then you will love song lyrics as Google Maps directions.  The pop culture humor is intelligently emplaced into neogeography.  (Hat tip: long time reader Torgo Jr)

Increasing Number Of Americans Unable To Point Out Map

From The Onion: Hat tip Adrian

WASHINGTON—-An alarming new study released Tuesday by the Department of Education found that nearly 70 percent of Americans are incapable of pointing out a map when presented by researchers with a map. "Not only did a majority of people just stare blankly ahead, but nearly half pointed to nearby desk lamps in their attempts to guess correctly," said Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, who called the findings endemic of the nation's failing school system. "In fact, 14 percent of all Americans claimed they had never 'even heard of no map,' and asked if being prompted to locate one was some kind of trick question." According to Duncan, the Department of Education has suspended all further studies and will instead be spending the next six months just screaming into a pillow.

Hilarious Google Maps Demotivational Posters and Fail Shots

Neogeography can be humorous. I have searched the internet for family friendly Google Maps Demotivational Posters and Fail Images. It was harder than I thought to find non-obscene ones but here is something to lighten up one's day.









And then there are more mature funny ones. For adults and mature teens: (do not worry, nothing sexual) watch out for Google Maps markers and the next New York City terrorist attack.

April Fools Day: Bloggers Uncover Lebanon War Fraud

A favorite of mine which I had no part in making from The Spoof

Bloggers Uncover Lebanon War Fraud

Written by Douglas Salguod

ALTOONA, Penn. -- In the wake of the United Nation's Security Council resolution to end the war in Lebanon, some fear the root cause of the war may be lost. The war was the result of geographical fraud, according to a report produced by a virtual convocation of internet bloggers. The report documents compelling evidence from hundreds of digitally enhanced eye-witnesses that every map the describing the Middle East conflict, every single one in print, broadcast or on the internet, is uncontestably inaccurate. The discovery of the fraud began innocently enough as an Israeli teenager crept up to the border with Lebanon late last Thursday night to meet the Lebanese girl he had hooked up with through MySpace. He used a MacBook® with a Geosensory® USB-interface version Gobal Postitioning System receiver module. She had a Garmin® eTrex®, a stand-alone handheld unit that literally fit in the palm of her hand, and cost only 165,851 Lebanese pounds. They knew that it could be fatal if either of them crossed the border -- but in the dim and shimmering moonlight they met exactly at the rendezvous coordinates -- and there they were together, alone -- and there was no border, none at all. They kissed in a way that, according to their precisely cailibrated GPS-enabled devices, neither of their lips crossed the suppposed border, then ran home to get on the internet tell the world about what they had discovered. Love would have to wait. Hundreds of bloggers, posters and blog readers from Israel, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and the Palestinian territories, all equipped with GPS-enabled smartphones, handhelds and other information appliances walked to the points on their maps indicating the international border. Regardless of whether their devices were voice-centric or data-centric, and whether they ran Symbian, Palm OS, Windows Mobile or Linux, the results were the exactly the same: there was no border, none at all. Walls, ditches and fences appeared at some points, the eye-witnesses report, but never the lines, solid or dashed, that showed on every map or mapping device. Academic geographers, when presented with the information provided at this conference, were astounded. "It's irrefutable; completely, entirely, undeniably irrefutable," said Brent R. Skeeter, Chair and Professor of the Salisbury State University's Department of Geography and Geosciences. "Nothing I've taught for 40 years has been anything but a fraud, a hoax, a sham, a deck of duplicious dupery. It's too late for me to do anything, but maybe the next generation of geographers will take their students on field trips and not just rely on pull-down maps." Because of Photoshop, which was used to create many of these maps, no photo can be trusted any longer, experts in photo manipulation agree. So, the bloggers will lead an expedition to the Middle East with top journalists from around the world to show them the actual "border" between Israel and Lebanon. "After they've been there they will understand the deception that has been perpetrated not just on the government of Israel, government of Lebanon and the leadership of Hezbollah but on the whole world," said Catholicgauze, the meisterblogger of Geographic Travels with Catholicgauze! Local journalists and photographers not esteemed enough to be included in the Middle East tour can simulate its impact by going to their own county's county-line with any neighboring county. "What you will see, invariably, is a change in pavement, but no actual line. And where the line extends into the grass on each side of the road, nothing. There's no line, dotted or otherwise," said David Rayner, co-founder of the Give Geography its Place Campaign. "The people behind this, and I don't want to sound paranoid but there are people behind this, they are trying to divide us. And they've done quite a good job of it, whoever they are," said Simon Beevers, a geography teacher from the United Kingdom. IN OTHER NEWS, members of the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps, a voluntary, non-governmental border patrol organization, report that their standard-issue Magellan GPS 2000 devices, which were assembled in Mexico, are indicating that the U.S. border is north of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California. Until further notice, the Minutemen say they will protect Oklahoma, Colorado, Utah and Nevada from illegal aliens coming from the states south of there. Copyright 2006, Douglas Salguod

What If Only Mapping Was Reality

A short film in the style of Mr. Bean (Hat Tip: The Map Room)

Why Geography Matters: The Onion Videos

For a fun Friday post here are two videos from The Onion which show why geography matters.

Without geography one looks like an idiot when it comes to important world affairs.

In The Know: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex

Without geography one cannot tell what is going on

Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot