Early this year, a KGB spy turned academic named Igor Panarin received fifteen minutes of fame for declaring that the United States would break up into smaller countries in 2010. Unfortunately for Dr. Panarin, it is clear he did not take into account geography when dividing the United States. Having Kentucky align with the European Union, Utah with California and the People's Republic of China, and Georgia with Mexico makes no sense. At first I thought Panarin wanted revenge for the Ralph Peters maps but later interviews have revealed he is just a bad geographer.
Now the former Soviet Union propaganda newspaper of Pravda has taken a swing at dividing North America. This effort shows a bit more geographic knowledge of locations and ties but makes the critical mistake of thinking different societies cannot survive together in America.
Pravda's has divided North America into several states:
Republic of Alaska: Russian nationalism has lead Pravda to think Alaska would be a natural ally of Russia. This ignores most Alaskans are the descendants of American colonialists who see Russia as a competitor.
People’s Democratic Republic of Western North America: Left Coast Hippies
Republica Del Norte: Pravda foresees Mexico taking back (and then some) America's southwest. A main question is would other Hispanics like Salvadorans go along with Mexican imperialism. At least Pravda realize Del Norte would be a corrupt oil state.
Soviet Zapatista Union: Southern Mexico is to gain independence from a Mexico more pleased with northern expansion.
New Mormon Zion Kingdom: Mormons are to unite and take over the Mountain West. This ignores the fact that less than half of Salt Lake City is Mormon and that all Mormons desire a return to theodemocracy.
Lakota Tribal Confederation: "Covering the ancestral lands, this traditional but libertarian loose confederation of Indian clans and whites who share their culture, has already declared its independence, making it official in 2008." By this they mean terrorist turned oddly Republican Russell Means and a few of his anti-Sioux Reservation government Indian pals. Plus, any one from this part of the country knows race relations between Whites and the former American Indian Movement terrorists is anything but well.
Republic of Texas: Required for any breakup of the United States scenario.
Confederate States of America: Ditto. However, now Blacks have the right to vote and are in positions of power.
Cuban Commonwealth: Cuba is to annex the "colonized" Florida Keys. Problems: 1) Little Havana is not in the Keys 2) Cubans in Florida are overwhelmingly anti-Castro 3) The Keys have a high proportion of homosexuals (something the Castros have historically hated).
New England Commonwealth: Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, and much of upstate New York, as well as Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward’s Island. So welfare state meets fishing provinces who desperately need welfare. People’s Democratic Republic of Western North America on the East Coast.
Republic of Quebec: Can the French hold back an alliance of English Canadians, immigrants, and American Indians who do not want a free French Quebec?
US Federal Government + Canada: Left overs.
Russia is hurting. There are several wars in the southeast where ethnic Muslim groups are fighting a civil war over independence. Ethnic Russians are dying off in droves without leaving enough children behind. Meanwhile, Whites in the United States are only keeping even. The big difference; however, is America can make more Americans. Race and ethnicity can be overcome if everyone agrees being American means holding the same ideals. Russia is stuck being an ethnic Empire. Jealousy is ugly.
3 comments:
Silly.
Indeed. Instead of contemplating a balkanized America (which will probably never happen, but it's still fun to speculate - I may put my idea up on my blog someday), perhaps the Russians should start imagining a Russia without Russians?
Makes a lot of sense.
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